PERFECT
What is perfect? I know the definition, I have an idea of what it is, but what exactly does perfect mean to you?
I have struggled with this before. Though, I didn't really handle the idea of perfect in a good way. I've written about my life before. You've read my blog, so I feel we have a good repor. I can talk to you.
After my accident, I realized that the perfect structure I had put together of where my life was going was now altered. The structure I consciously and unconsciously constructed for my life was shattered in minutes. Years of prepping was what now seemed to be for nothing.
So the "perfect" structure I had strategically mastered for myself was gone. The question now was, "what to do".
Yes, I tried and hung on to every inch of positivity I had, and well..... You guys see the result. However, I can't lie to you guys. Unbeknownst to the outside world and even myself, I thought I could find my "perfect" in a bottle. In other words, I could not admit this to myself but I had fallen in a slight state of denial. And for me, what better way to help wash away any denial and gain my "perfect" then finding it while drinking.
And that's what I did. I drank. It's true. The whole year after my accident I drank a lot. Of course in the back of my head I'm thinking, "I'm all good". Yeah....not so much. Again, I was, at the time, assuming by drinking, I could regain my idea of "perfect". Well I'm here to tell you, drinking didn't help me find my "perfect". It just pushed any idea I had of it further away.
The further away my "perfect" moved, the more I began to realize that I wasn't going to find it in the state I was in, and, though I had my "perfect" laid out for myself before hand, there was no way I was getting it back the way it was. My life was altered now remember? And did it matter? I mean, what really is "perfect"?
So it dawned on me, there really is no such thing as perfect. There is however, a way for you to write your own definition of "perfect" for your life. "Perfect" meaning, admitting to yourself that you'll go through ups and downs, hit really good times and also hard times, enjoying each day, and knowing whatever comes your way, you'll handle and keep moving on. Time will also play a factor. You'll tell yourself that time can be your best friend but also your worst enemy and yet, it will never slow you down. That for me, is my "perfect". Just knowing that every day is a toss up and not caring. Instead, taking each day as it comes and making/doing the best for each.
My point is, it's hard putting so much pressure on this idea of "perfect" for yourself. Putting that much energy and expectation on your life and the way things have to happen around you can eventually consume you. We can put so much energy into our relationships, friendships, unexpected occurrences, etc, on what needs to be "perfect", that when our expectations are not met, and the outcome isn't to our liking, we crumble.
Rather then that happening, ease up on yourself a little. The best thing about finding our "perfect" is when we set forth to do the very best for ourselves and then "perfect" moments and situations furthering our lives and who we are start to unexpectedly, fall into our laps. I know this because Ive experienced this for myself and also witnessed it with others around me.
"Perfect" can to a degree exist. Not the way it's written in the dictionary but how you play it out in your life. Taking the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Last year, I decided to take the next huge step in my life and find my "perfect". I was close to it yet still hadn't really declared it for my life completely. So I did. I can honestly say that now, I am on the road to my "perfect". There have been many bumps I've hit, but it is all a part of my "perfect" life.
I dare you to find your "perfect" expecting nothing. Only knowing that you'll be the one crossing the finish line with a smile.
Nicole
No comments:
Post a Comment