What is missing?

 

The last few weeks I've been stuck in a sort of rut. I'll blog something one day, then the next I just don't get around to it because, well, I just don't. The rest of the week goes by, I'm a little clueless what to write so I just won't write for the rest of the week only to have the exact thing happen the next week.

This partially has to do with the fact that I feel empty. Not completely, just empty in a sense that, I feel something is missing inside of me. There is this one spot inside of me that is just empty. Almost like something took something inside of me off my shelf without me knowing. Now it's missing.

However, there is one little issue with this. I can't exactly remember what it was that was taken. I just know it's missing.

I'm sure at some point we've all felt that something was missing  inside of us and in our lives. Not really knowing what that is, or how we can possibly retrieve it is tricky. Sometimes we do indeed know the steps we need to take to somehow try to retrieve it, but don't really want to make that first move. I mean, if there was a mail service that could just stop by your door anytime your "whatever" is missing, and they could just retrieve it and deliver it to you...it would be oh so nice. Sadly, there is no delivery service that exists. So, ultimately, it's up to us. We have to play detective, and find our missing "something."

As for me, it has been a very up and down battle. For every cloud nine I feel when I think I've found it, there is a swift gush of reality that shows and makes me feel that, no, I haven't quit got it yet.

Until a couple of weeks ago. No joke, I had a light bulb, "ah ha" moment. While stretching it hit me. I miss dance. I miss performing. I NEED this back in my life. I need to incorporate it into my speeches. I need to perform and dance after I speak to my audience. I need/want to get my dancer body back. I need to get my inner dancer back. That's what's missing!!!

Of course, it took me almost four to five years to find it, but I found it! I did! In other words, if you are missing whatever puzzle piece inside that you know will complete the whole picture, then you have to be patient. Seek it out, but in your own way, and trust, that with time, you'll find it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you'll find it. That is, if you want to. If you're willing to make the effort to try.

Now I know there are some things inside that you miss, and you know 100% that you'll never get them back. Though, there are other things you miss inside, that you know you CAN get back. It may take some work, but you can absolutely get it. Just don't fall in the trap of settling.

You know what I mean. Your missing something, know how to retrieve it, know there is going to be serious work to get it back, and decide to pass because your lazy and just don't want to put the work in. Therefore, you settle, telling yourself you're ok and don't really need "it".

Don't lie to yourself, you deserve better then that. Go get what is going to make you complete! Think about it, once you get it back, just image the adventures that are possibly a head of you just waiting to happen!

Ok, enough pep talk for the day. I have a date with my workout. Operation get "Nicole dancing again" has begun.

Nicole

Dance it up!!

Let's dance it up this Monday. Enjoy the dance videos and get your dance on!!!

Nicole

love, cry, and laugh just a little

Good day out there! As I woke up this morning, the "Glory of Love" popped in my head. If you've never heard of it, read the lyrics below and check out some of the videos below. Hope you enjoy, and have a great weekend :)

                          "The Glory Of Love"

"This is a song I've been singing for a long time. 
It's like an old friend. 
But, you know, I think it, 
it's only recently that I discovered what it's really about."

You've got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

As long as there's the two of us,
we've got the world and all it's charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we've got each other's arms.

You've got to win a little, lose a little,
yes, and always have the blues a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

Nicole

"Tap, tap, tapping at my chamber door..."

Edgar Allen Poe. Ever heard of him? If not, I'll give you the cliff notes. He was a poet/author of the 18th century. Majority of his works were rather dark. Excellent reading on a gloomy rainy day in my opinion. It really sets the mood. Anyway, as the tap, tap, tapping of rain drops hit the glass on the windows in my house, I can't help but think of some of his works.

As for my sweet pups, Roxie & Chicago (Roxie a boxer mix and Chicago a bagel) they are having their own internal Poe moment. Each is desperate to go outside to use the restroom, only they are petrified of the sound of rain. No use using an umbrella for help because both are scared of the noise from the rain tapping on the umbrella and refuse to relieve themselves until the rain stops. I must admit, that is some serious dedication. 

It is rather comical though. It's just rain. Water dropping from the sky to the earth below. Water. It's just water, and yet, it scares the living daylights out of my dogs. If you stop and think about it, their situation is very similar to the those we play out in everyday life.

See, all my dogs have to do, is just take that first step venturing out into the rain to realize that there's really nothing to be afraid of. However, for them, this first step seems nearly impossible to do. Sound familiar?

As we go through life, there are many first steps we are absolutely terrified to make, and rightfully so. Regardless of what that step is, it's up to us, and nobody else, to do it. Once we do get the courage to take that first step, it could be a good or bad sort of outcome. Either way, after we make that first step, we then are left with the knowledge of knowing that we did it. Finally that pesky voice in our head stops going over and over again about the what " if's". We don't need the what " if's" because we got our answer. Even if we don't like it, at least we know.

Throughout our lives we're going to be faced with many situations all about taking that "first step". Many times you'll back down, mainly because you've already predetermined that you won't be able to do it and sometimes you'll be right. Though, sometimes you'll be wrong. After all, how will you really know if you never even tried?

I, would much rather know I couldn't do something then obsessively racking my brain thinking maybe I could. Hints, the "what if". 

Venturing into the unknown can be scary, but the pay off is knowing you did it and if it worked for you or if it didn't. As for now, I'm curling up with my book of Poe stories and...wait...well looks like my dogs had a pretty good idea of what I was writing...their both by the door ready to go into the rain to use the bathroom! 

Nicole

Commitment

Ah commitment....

Committing to a relationship is tough. Committing to different plans is/are tough. Committing to a specific time is tough. However, I think committing to a routine is probably the hardest for me.

It wasn't always that way. Before  accident, drive and determination were all I could think about, allowing nothing to stand in the way on me and my dreams. I had this sort of routine I didn't even realize. My routine was waking up early in the morning, making sure I ate a good breakfast (it is the most important meal of the day you know), go to class or work (depending on the two different time frames I'm referring to), fitting in a good hour workout after I was done with either class or work, managing to get some decent amount of sleep so I could do the whole thing over again the next day.

In the last year and half, my routine has been tough to commit to. Mainly because things are a little different. Now, I move a little slower, which makes things  longer to do and can get the best of me. And when they do, I lash out by just not doing them or putting them off. Or I'll be doing really good and there's a hiccup in my routine, like I have to travel somewhere and am unable to bring all the equipment I need in order to keep my routine going. A couple of days go by, then when I am able to be reunited with my workout equipment, I am not as jazzed anymore, and I'm off my routine. After that, trying to commit back to my routine is shot. A few attempts are made, but nothing really solid. Then just the idea of knowing that I need to commit back to my routine and I'm not, sort of just makes it even harder to keep going.

Yet, getting back on track, is 100% possible. In fact, after I write this post. My yoga mat is ready to be rolled  out and  I'm ready to get back on track. I'll probably slack off for another 15 minutes or so before I really start back.

It's easy for all of us to slack off but making a true commitment to ourselves and our lively hood is something we need to embrace.

Happy Monday everyone. Let's get this show on road!

Nicole